Cal Bo
From ComedyNightLife.com
| Cal Bo | |
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| Appearances | Vancouver |
| Notables | |
| Awards | |
Contents |
[edit] BIOGRAPHY
Cal Bo is a carbon based life form. At this time, he is currently inhabiting the third planet from the sun, located in sector XR-63 of the Milky Way galaxy. Genetically, Cal is classed as a biped, meaning he has two legs and walks upright. He is a member of the species "Homo Sapien" (but he doesn't suck dicks or anything like that, not that kind of homo, ok?) Sometimes Cal tells jokes.
HEIGHT: 175 cm. WEIGHT: 100 kg. EYES: 2 SEX: not lately
FAVORITE FLOWER: pussywillow FAVORITE FOOD: clam FAVORITE PET: beaver LEAST FAVORITE PET: crabs
HOBBIES: Astronomy and Gynecology (which means I spend most of my spare time inspecting vaginas through a telescope.)
OTHER PASTIMES: getting involved in stupid on-line debates on Comedy Couch: http://www.comedycouch.com/forum/
EARLY LIFE: unknown
LATER LIFE: also unknown
CAREER: Retired from a bunch of no-pension shit jobs: hunter-gatherer, wandering nomad, spermbank milker, etc. Finally got time to tell all the jokes I've been writing all my life - including killer material on Trudeau, Diefenbaker, Expo 86, Vancouver Grizzlies, hippies on Fourth Avenue, etc, etc....
DIPLOMAS, DEGREES: JOHN School graduate, Class of 1984, 1987, 1993, 1996, 1998, 2001, & 2005
[edit] Latest News
Yikes! Somebody clicked on this page about two thousand times? Yet only twenty three clicks on my video? Well thanks for bumping me up near the top of the "Most Popular" page - but it's not deserved, based on my comedy "career". Total lifetime comedy earnings to date = (drumroll please....) DICKALL ! ...some free drinks is about it. If it actually is a woman interested in saving a few bucks on a mammogram? Uh, that whole mammogram thing is not real, you should actually see a qualified doctor. And if he uses the same technique as in my picture - get the hell out of there fast! (especially if he uses a similar "place pussy here" contraption to do gynecological exams..)
Upcoming:
My one wish is that before I die - as long as I’m a good boy - I'll get to compete in the city's biggest comedy contest. I don't have any fantasy about actually winning - or even making it to the second round. just competing. (hasn't happened yet.) be careful who ya piss off online kids - it doesn't take any skill to block a door, but ya never know who might be able to do it....
Latest Reviews:
<“kinda’ ok I guess”..L.M., Burnaby>, <“not as bad as the guy who was on before him”..M.G., Coquitlam>, <“seen worse - but I can’t remember where”..S.B., Maple Ridge>, <“not too bad”..H.C., Langley>, <“an oddish old dude”..M.T., Surrey>, <“a fucking asshole”...F.M., Vancouver>, <“an abortion with a beard”...Y.K.W. (yes i do), Vancouver>, <"needs more cowbell" ...C.W., New York>, <"a bit pitchy dawg" ...R.J., Los Angeles>
[edit] Videos
If ya' wanna' view, just click on the blue: http://www.youtube.com/user/whross#p/u average video length: 24 seconds. (these videos are updated & replaced all the time - shitty jokes are deleted on a regular basis. Check back often enough, and one day they might all be gone!)
[edit] Roles
===Starring Roles=== none
===Guest Starring Roles=== Cal has appeared in seven episodes of "COPS", & three episodes of "TO SERVE & PROTECT"
===Specials and Made-for-TV Movies=== zippo
===Talk, News and Game Show Appearances=== audience member of "Reach for the Top" - Feb 19, 1976
===Notable Film Roles=== I don't use roles of film anymore - I went all-digital years ago..
[edit] Photo Gallery
I sometimes post here pictures of my very closest friends. All of them came to me for free mammograms and it just kind of took off from there I guess. By the way, these ladies' mammogram results all turned out absolutely Grade A Perfect! (for me anyway - these broads could all be dying for all I know)
[edit] Memorable Moments
Golly! there's so many... first time I got blown of course - but most guys never do forget that important "kumming of age" ritual. Then there was the time I was in the thrift store and I found my cool hat. (see pic.) My own personalized hat! (Course I had to change my name to match the name on the hat.) Also the time when I was the last guy to go up at Zawa on Nov 6th, 2007 (true)- considering myself therefore to have technically been the headliner (the audience had all left, but the show did carry on without them.) And also watching my son being born I guess, that was kinda' memorable - but nothing compared to finding that hat!
[edit] Awards and Accolades
-I was seventh runner-up on my night at Ceili's Comedy contest - So CURSES on Seth Perry! And six other guys!
-I also got my ass kicked at the Last Joker on Deck contest - so curses also to Byron Bertram and a bunch of other guys.
[edit] Trivia
Cal's father and grandfather were also stand-up comedians.
They were both dismal failures. In over sixty years performing, between the two of them - neither one of them ever got a laugh!
Cal is also forcing his children Cal Jr. and Caletta to carry on the family tradition and become comedians, instead of going to university.
They both hate it.
[edit] Links
E-mail: w_h_ross@yahoo.com (why ya can't just click on this email address is beyond me, it doesn't even turn blue, unlike my ...ah, forget it)
Categories: Comedian | Male | Canadian | Vancouver | BC | Stand Up Comic | Canada
